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“We’ll need to hear your ‘outside voice’ today Elizabeth—is that all right?”That broke everyone up, including Mom, who took a big breath and waited.“Start with Vinnie’s speech to the maid, whenever you’re ready...”VINNIE:“If Mr. Day speaks to you, just say; ‘Yes Sir, ‘ don’t be nervous—you’ll get used to him.”CLARENCE:“Good morning Mother.”I give her a kiss on her cheek per the stage directions.VINNIE:“Good morning Clarence.”CLARENCE:“Did you sleep well, mother?”VINNIE:“Yes, thank you dear (to the maid) we always start with fruit—except the two young boys, who have porridge.”CLARENCE:“Jiminy! Another wreck on the New Haven. That always disturbs the market—Father won’t like that!”VINNIE:“I do wish that New Haven would stop having wrecks.”The casting committee all chuckled.VINNIE:“If they knew how it upset your father—My soul and body—what’s happened to your coat?”“Thank you both very much—a new face, and a talented young man ... expect a call.”Mom and I put our scripts down, the guy,. A variation came to mind.Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit picking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloreds from running.Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.Riots in Birmingham last month caused over £1 million worth of improvements.Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon.
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